


Promises and Insecurities

by FendersWolfMage



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:49:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FendersWolfMage/pseuds/FendersWolfMage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris and Anders were childhood friends. After Fenris moved away, Anders never saw him again, until now...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

 

_It was around that time of year, when there wasn't quite snow, but you could taste it upon the frost in the air. Two boys sat upon the school yard bench, hand in hand as they awaited parents to retrieve them. Dark skin and hair, a complete opposite to the pale freckled skin and blonde hair beside him. “You're sure you can't convince your mom to let you stay? You're my best friend! You can't leave” Anders pleaded, a stutter to his words, as the cold chilled his bones. The darker boy looked at him, a soft smile upon his lips. “Mother believes it will be better. Varania hasn't made friends yet, so it'll be easier for us to move. I don't want to leave you, Anders...”. That gentle voice, a comfort and yet heartbreaking all the same. Clear words left unspoken._

 

_Just then, a small beat up Ford pick up drove to the curb outside the gate. Both boys stood, green and honeyed eyes tearing up. “I'll miss you, Leto. Promise me you'll write?” Anders begged. Leto silently held_ _out his pinky. Anders quickly took it with his own. Pulling Leto into a tight embrace, Anders clung to him as though he were a life line. Leto pried Anders off of him. “I'm sorry, Anders” Leto murmured softly. With no more words spoken, Leto got into the car._

 

 _As that car pulled away, a single name fell from Anders lips, like a silent prayer. “Leto”._ That was also when Anders jolted awake, tears in his eyes. It had been years since Anders had that dream. Years since he'd truly thought about Leto. Leto had never written him, all but disappearing from Anders life. Without a trace, gone, but still there. Feeling the bed shift beside him, Anders gaze turned to the other man. Garrett Hawke, his boyfriend of three years. Whiskey eyes fluttered open. As they focused, worry creased the bearded features. “What's wrong?” Garrett asked, pulling himself into a sitting position. Anders wiped at his own eyes, turning away from Garrett's concern.

 

Garrett simply reached out, carefully gripping Anders chin. As their gazes locked, Garrett's eyes searched his face. “Just a nightmare” Anders responded, tone quite. Garrett placed a gentle kiss between Anders brows. “Do you want to talk about it?” Garrett inquired. Anders shook his head. “It's three in the morning, let's just go back to sleep” Anders said, softly. Garrett looked as though he wanted to say something else, to pry further. Anders was grateful when he didn't. Instead, Garrett nodded and pulled Anders down with him. Anders snuggled into Garrett's warm embrace. “Don't ever leave me” Anders mumbled, nuzzling Garrett's chest as fingers gently carded through wisps of black chest hair. “Never” Garrett rumbled, tone sleepy as he kissed the top of Anders head. “Promise?” Anders quested. “Promise” Garrett agreed, with a yaw. Both soon dozed off, but Anders fell asleep with a wonder of how long that promise would last.

 

 


	2. Morning Routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Garrett and Anders morning.

Chapter 1:

“Anders, wake up” A voice said. Anders felt his body be rocked, as Garrett did his best to shake Anders awake. Anders groaned in protest, swatting Garrett's hand away. “Five more minutes” Anders grumbled tiredly. Garrett huffed, but Anders could clearly hear the trace of a chuckle. 

Light suddenly streamed into the room, Anders rolling onto his stomach to block it out with a pillow. A heavy weight pressed down upon his hips. Anders could feel the heat of Garrett's thighs encasing his waist. As Garrett shifted on top of him, Anders was almost regretful of the blanket separating them. The trail of Garrett's tie, as Garrett leaned into breathe against Anders skin had eyes opening. “What time is it?” Anders asked. “Seven thirty” Garrett whispered against his skin, tracing a tongue in swirling patterns. 

Anders jumped awake, rolling Garrett off him in the process. “Why didn't you say that?” Anders asked, as he stumbled around the room. Putting on clothes, he watched as a look of amusement crossed Garrett's features. “I did attempt waking you up” Garrett offered. Anders glared. “Try a cold bucket of water next time” Anders spoke in a haste, as he rushed past Garrett towards the bathroom. 

Garrett grabbed Anders around the waist, yanking him down. Lips conntected in a sloppy kiss, teeth clicking together. Both man shivered at the feel. “Breathe, love. I don't have any meetings till 9. I'll drop you off at the clinic” Garrett said, caressing Anders cheek. Anders took in a deep breathe, snuggling into Garrett. “Now. Can I have a proper kiss?” Garrett asked, doning on puppy eyes. 

Anders chuckled, moving up to straddle Garrett's waist. Leaning down as Garrett moved up, they met in a slow, gentle kiss. Small licks and nips causing Anders to part his lips, Garrett's tongue pushing in. Anders whimpered softly as hands squeezed his ass. Pulling back, he laughed softly. “If you keep that up, neither of us will be making it to work on time” Anders scolded with a smirk. Garrett smiled, rolling Anders under him. “Would that be so bad? Late for work because we made sweet passionate love” Garrett teased, nipping at Anders neck playfully, as fingers tangled in strawberry blonde hair. “It would be scandalice. The doctor running the free clinic, late for work because he was doing the C.E.O of Amell Corp. As lovely as that sounds, my patients and boss may not be as forgiving” Anders said, as Garrett settled perfectly between his legs. Anders rocked up against Garrett. Tetth sank in delightfully on Anders neck, causing him to gasp. “Fuck, yes” Anders moaned. Garrett trailed his tongue sinfully along the bite marks. “Garrett, not above-” Anders trailed off on a breatheless gasp when Garrett cupped him through his scrub pants. 

Anders pushed up against Garrett's chest, moving the man off him. “No” Anders said, walking away from the bed. “No?” Garrett questioned, raising an eyebrow. Anders grabbed his hair brush, throwing it into a hair tie. “No without reason” Anders said, going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The creak of a bed signalled Garrett following him. “Well, can I at least buy you breakfast?” Garrett asked, as Anders shoved a tooth brush into his mouth. Anders shook his head in response. Spitting out his mouthful of toothpaste, he turned to Garrett. “I'm already brushing my teeth, I'll just eat at lunch” Anders offered. Garrett sighed, moving towards Anders. “You need to eat, love” Garrett said, concern clear in his voice. “And I do eat, but I'm not hungry rigth now. Though I wouldn't mind dinner later” Anders said with a cheeky grin. “I'm holding you to it” Garrett said, placing a soft kiss to Anders cheek. 

Once Anders had everything together, Garrett met him in the entry way of their home. They had moved into a small two bedroom together half a year ago. Anders was still getting use to just how big the two bedroom actually was. At first, Anders figured it would be perfectly sized for if Garrett had one of his siblings stay the night, but he'd been proven wrong. Garrett looked Anders over. “I really love a man in uniform” Garrett said with a wink. Anders chuckled. “Well, a suit does well” Anders said, stepping forward. Garrett stepped towards him, pushing Anders back against the door. Garrett kissed him a little more forcefully this time, putting a knee between Anders legs. They kissed for a few moments, before Anders took it upon himself to push Garrett back again. “What is up with you today?” Anders questioned curiously. “You asked me last night not to leave you. I figured this was the best way to show you I'm staying rigth here” Garrett utter against his lips, before giving him another quick kiss. 

Anders froze for a moment, a soft smile then coming to his face. “Thank you love, that's sweet” Anders said, wrapping his arms around Garrett's neck. Anders didn't realize Garrett had paid that much attention. Then again, it wasn't something that should surprise him. Garrett always listened, heard what he had to say. For their first Christmas together, Anders was utterly surprised to receive a new notebook to keep track of things. It had been something he'd mentioned to Garrett months before, something so small and insignificant. Anders still carried it around, though the pages were now filled and becoming slightly tattered. “I love you” Anders said. Garrett smiled. “I love you too. Now shall we get to work?” Garrett asked.


	3. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders gets a patient. Something is off about this patient.

Chapter 2:

It was busy. Hectic even, if Anders wanted to pick a right word to describe it. People poured in for simple coughs and colds or even bumps and brusies. Anders always expected his mornings to be packed though. Running from one end of the clinic to the other, Anders was grateful for the help. Lirene sat at the front desk, typing away and registering patients. Justice, their boss, was somewhere likely working in his office. Anders knew Karl was likely helping some more minor cases at the moment, keeping the heat off Anders. 

By the time lunch finally did roll around, Anders had 2 or 3 patients left to roll through. That was when he came in. Dark skin, white hair and white tattoos covering the expanse of what Anders could see. A hand was held against the man's head and was that.. blood? Anders rushed forward as the man stumbled, falling forward. Anders caught him quickly, pulling him up. “Someone help me get this man to a room!” Anders shouted the command, as the rest of the people moved into motion. 

Washing his hands, Anders took a deep breathe. Thankfully, the man had turned out just fine. A few stitches and he was now fast asleep. Anders had searched for I.D on him, but found nothing. Anders leaned back against the counter for a moment, remembering looking the man over. He'd caught a flash of stunning green eyes, but maybe Anders was going crazy. It seemed like the logical answer to everything right now. Crazy or maybe hungry. There was a knock on the door of the staff room, to which Anders got a look of confusion. Who knocked on a staff door? Opening it, he was greeted with Garrett standing there, a paper bag in his hand. “I brought food” Garrett spoke cheerily. Anders smiled softly. “Have I ever said I love you?” Anders asked, pulling Garrett into the room before shutting the door. 

Garrett locked the door causing Anders to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. “I'm not going to do anything, I just want you to eat” Garrett said, sitting down in a chair. Anders propped himself up on the table, taking a burger out of the bag. Anders unwrapped it. “Look, eating” Anders pointed out. Biting down on it, Anders let out a hum of contemptment. “For a doctor, you sure do get happy over unhealthy foods” Garrett jested. Anders narrowed his eyes in fake glare, as he chewed, swallowing quickly. “Shut up” Anders laughed, a smile breaking out on his face as he punched Garrett playfully. 

Garrett leaned forward a bit, placing elbows on the table. “So, you remember how you said you wanted a cat?” Garrett asked. Anders nodded. “Of coure, I always want a cat” Anders said. Garrett leaned back in the chair. “Well-” Garrett began, but was cut off by a banging on the door. “Doctor Anders? Are you in there?!” Lirene called out. Anders wrapped up his burger with a sigh. He had looked forward to inhaling that within five minutes. Dreams seemed easily crushed though. “One minute” Anders said. When he stood up, Garrett stood with him, getting in his way. “ I need to-” Anders said. Garrett leaned forward, licking the corner of his mouth. Anders squeaked in surprise. “You had a bit of sauce there” Garrett teased with a seductive smile. “Maker, Garrett..”Anders breathed out, face blushing bright as he brushed hair back with a goofy smile. “I love you ,now get moving” Anders said in his best threatening tone. Garrett bursted out with laughter at that, as Anders unlocked the door. 

“Your unnamed patient has awoken and he's pretty intent on leaving… Is.. he alright?” Lirene asked, eyes darting to Garrett whom was still laughing. “I ask myself that daily. Now then, I'll go take care of that patient” Anders said, leaving Garrett alone in his insanity. Opening the door to his patient's room, the man now sat up on the observation table. “How are you feeling?” Anders asked, eyes looking his patient over for any signs of distress. Anders couldn't seem to find any. “I am fine. May I leave now?” the man asked, looking fairly uncomfortable in the room. “I'd like to look you over first, just to be certain” Anders said, meeting those green eyes. They seemed so familiar and Anders knew where that came from, but there would be no way. No, Leto had left the country, gone to live else where. 

When his patient didn't protest, Anders did a thorough observation. Checking pupils and other things, making sure there was no concussion. Pulling out a slip of paper, Anders wrote a prescription. “These are just simple pain meds, as well as antibiotics to avoid infection. I want you back here in a week, just to make sure things are healing alright” Anders directed. The man nodded, giving him an odd look as the prescription was handed over. “Dr. Anders” the man murmured. Anders nodded. “It's not common, but it's native to my hometown. I'm not originally from here” Anders said. A look of surprise crossed the man's face. “That's… uh.. thank you…” the man said. “Before you leave, just put your information with the secretary. I couldn't find any I.D on you after you passed out on me” Anders said. The man nodded. “Of course”. Anders opened the door. “In a week. Schedule that with Lirene” Anders said. 

Anders watched as the man left. That look he'd been given almost made Anders sure. It didn't seem possible. Deciding for better or for worse, Anders went after the man. Before he could stop it, the name slipped past his mouth. “Leto” Anders said. The man stopped for a minute, shoulders tense. Then he began to move forward again. The words were spoken so softly, Anders couldn't be certain he'd heard them at all. “Leto is dead” the man said, before leaving out of his sight. 

Anders stood frozen in spot, a chill rolling through his body. Leto is dead. The words rang through his mind. That couldn't be the truth. No. Leto couldn't be dead. The resembalance between the two was so uncanny. Yet… maybe.. Anders was holding on to a lost hope. Something that couldn't be. Just a dream. Gone, but still here.


	4. Break Down and a Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett picks Anders up for dinner, but when they arrive home to change, sometimes fall apart.

Chapter 3:

Anders sat outside the clinic, head leaned back against the wall. Today had been.. something. Anders felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Hearing the door to the clinic open, Anders turned to see Karl walking out, suitcase in hand. “Anders, how are you?” Karl asked. Anders smiled softly. “I'm great, thanks for asking. How about you?” Anders asked, as Karl sat down beside him. Anders and Karl had dated for sometime during Anders college years. Karl had been a couple years a head of Anders. Their relationship hadn't really any problems, but they'd eventually agreed it better for them to go separate ways. Now, by some chance of fate, the two worked together. Though friendship seemed to work better for the two of them. 

“I'm doing marvelous actually. Orsino and I have been dating for a while now.. It's been.. interesting” Karl confided. Anders gave him a look of surprise. “You and.. Orsino.. That is definitely not one I saw coming. Congrats though” Anders offered. Orsino had been one of their professors. He hadn't been one of Anders favourites, but Anders never said anything. If Karl was happy, Anders was happy with that. “Thanks. How are things with you and Hawke?” Karl asked. Mostly everyone called Garrett by his last name, which was something Anders had done at first as well. However, they'd progressed enough that Anders eventually slipped into calling him Garrett. “Things are good. Though I think Lirene may lock him up next time he brings me lunch” Anders said with a smile. Karl smiled as well. “Yes, well, he does have that way about him” Karl responded. Both broke into a fit of laughter.

That was how Garrett found them, having a laugh on the bench outside the clinic. Anders was grateful for it, as it had lightened his mood from today. He felt better somehow. Friends did that to him, made him happy to just be himself. “Evening, Gentleman” Garrett called from the rolled down window of his black Audi SQ5. Anders had refused for Garrett to get anything overly extravagant, so after much agruing they'd settled on this one. It was obviously who'd truly won the argument. Standing up, Anders moved towards the car. Garrett whistled out a cat call. “I knew I was picking up my boyfriend, but I'd almost forgot I was picking up a sexy dishevelled doctor” Garrett chortled. Anders blushed and gave Karl a wave. “I'll see you tomorrow” Anders said, embarrassment upon his face. 

Garrett put the car into drive, obviously in a good mood. “Why are you so happy?” Anders asked. Garrett was normally bubbly and bright, but this was something Anders wasn't constantly use to seeing. “I'm just… excited. I want to bring you out somewhere nice for dinner” Garrett said. Anders raised an eyebrow. “Am I allowed to go home and change first? I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm covered in blood and.. other bodily fluids” Anders said with a shudder. Garrett looked him over before turning back to the road. “Well, I was paying more attention to you, but I suppose I can allow you at least that” Garrett said. 

Arriving home, Anders had convinced Garrett to allow him a quick shower. Anders leaned his head back as water cascaded over his body. 'Leto is dead' the words fluttered through his mind. Anders felt his heart clench. Sinking down to the tub, he took a deep breathe. Why now? It'd taken years to forget and only a night to remember. A childhood friendship, something so simple that should have been easy. Even he knew the mind was not that simple, but he could wish. “Anders” Garrett called, opening the bathroom door. “Are you almost done?” Garrett asked. Anders covered his mouth as a sob escaped him. What was wrong with him? 

Garrett pulled back the curtain, kneeling down beside the tub. “What's wrong?” Garrett's voice floated over him, tone soothing him. Anders drew in a shaky breathe. “Today..” Anders began but stopped. Garrett reached out a hand, rubbing Anders back. He didn't seem to care about the water collecting damply on his suit. “Just breathe. Finish washing up and we can talk” Garrett said, leaning over to kiss Anders cheek. “I'll be in the bedroom” Garrett said, standing up to leave the bathroom. Anders reached out, grabbing hold of Garrett's jacket. “Stay” Anders muttered pitifully. Garrett nodded. “Of course” Garrett said.

After Anders had finished in the shower and dried off, they'd both changed into something clean. “Do you want to tell me what's going on now?” Garrett asked, voice staying gentle, as though speaking to a child who'd had a nightmare. “I-” Anders said. He trailed off into telling Garrett about Leto, about his childhood friend. Garrett listened quietly, not interrupting, just listening. “I'm pretty sure he'd wanted to say he loved me.. and I-” Anders trailed off. Garrett had taken Anders into his lap, rubbing the man's back. “You loved him too” Garrett finished for him. Anders nodded. “I guess that would make this hard for you. If you'd rather stay in tonight, I'm all for it. Whatever you need” Garrett maintained. Anders kissed his cheek. “Thank you, love, but I think I'll be alright” Anders said. Garrett smiled softly, running his fingers through Anders' damp locks. “Shall we?” Garrett asked. Anders nodded.

Dinner turned out to be spectacular. Anders was almost glad he hadn't turned this down, since his lunch had been cut short. If Garrett Hawke did something, it wasn't done half way. He went all out. Fancy wines and deliciously decadent meals. Anders hummed happily around his last spoonful of chocolate mousse as Garrett fed it to him. “I could watch you all day” Garrett admitted. Anders blushed. “Garrett Hawke, you are unlike any other. Another person could compliment me, but I think you are the only one who can make me swoon like a school girl” Anders proclaimed. Garrett seemed pleased with this, pride clear in his face. “One would hope I haven't lost my touch in only 3 years” Garrett remarked. “3 years huh?” Anders wondered. “You sound like that's a bad thing” Garrett sounded doubtful. “Maker, no. I was just wondering how you're still so sweet after all those years. Certainly I'm a pain by now” Anders said. 

Garrett marveled at that. “You're just worthy of such adoration. You work so hard and you're deserving of everything I can possibly give you. Everything I want to give you in our future” Garrett said. Anders watched as Garrett stood up, reaching out for Anders hand. Anders stood with him. “Anders, I love you so much… and maybe I'm foolish to believe we would stay together years from now… but I want you, by my side until I die” Garrett said, going down on one knee. “Will you, Anders, give me that honor?” Garrett asked, pulling out a tiny blue velvet box. “To be by my side for eternity?” Garrett questioned, opening the box to reveal a ring. Anders covered his mouth with his hand, eyes tearing up. Garrett quick shot up as he saw the tears, closing the box. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… I just.. I” Garrett stuttered out. Anders silenced him with a passionate kiss, tears slipping from his eyes. Anders wrapping around Garrett, Anders pulled back. “I'm not saying no, Garrett… Maker, no.. I, yes Garrett. I'm yours” Anders said. 

Garrett eyes lit up as he slide the ring onto Anders fingers. “I'm the luckiest man alive, to have the most wonderful man alive as my fiance” Garrett murmured, dragging Anders back into another heart melting kiss.


	5. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett has one more surprise for Anders. The night turns upside down.

Chapter 4: 

Anders had the belief that they were going home, but as Garrett turned down some other street, Anders wasn't entirely sure. “Garrett, where are we going?” Anders asked. Garrett simply smiled, starring ahead silently. This game huh? Anders didn't know if he could take another surprise. Not that the first one hadn't been utter perfection. It had left Anders heart beating in his chest. Even now, it beat wildly as he toyed with the ring upon his finger. It wasn't overly fancy, but it was still beautiful. Anders knew then that Garrett had put a lot of thought into it. It was evident in a lot of things. Anders looked up to see they'd stopped. “What are we doing?' Anders asked, looking out the window. Anders felt a flutter of excitement buzz through him at the animal shelter. “Garrett, are we getting a cat?” Anders almost bounced out of his seat. Garrett couldn't hold back his laughter at this. Anders knew he probably looked like a child.. but a cat. 

As they walked into the shelter, Anders couldn't help fidgeting. His parents had never allowed him a cat.. and then his foster parents… they'd barely allowed him friends. For a whole year, they had taken away all contact, minus home and school. So a cat was definitely high on Anders priority list. When they'd been given permission to go take a look at the cats, Anders almost made a bee-line for it. Garrett followed close behind, watching Anders closely. “We'll never have children, we can face that much. So I thought a cat would be fitting.. it'll be like our love child” Garrett said. Anders gave him a look. “You're weird, Garrett” Anders said, looking around at all the cats. 

There were a lot of black and white ones, but Anders had a specific in mind. If he could only take one home, it would be the right one. Even if he wished to take all of them out of here to live with him. That was when Anders spotted him. A fluffy orange cat was curled up in the corner upon a little bed. His paws had white upon them and he was perfect. Anders made way over to him, kneeling to scratch him behind the ear. The cat instantly began purring. Anders cooed at the cat. “Garrett, can we take this one?” Anders asked, looking over to his boyfriend… eer fiance. Maker, that was going to be a change. Garrett was surrounded by a bunch of different cats, he looked slightly lost in the sea of felines. Garrett strided over, kneeling beside Anders. Reaching out to pet the orange tabby, Garrett pet him carefully. “Whatever you want, love” Garrett said. Anders stood up, picking up the tabby in his arms. “I want him” Anders said. Garrett nodded. “Shall we then?” Garrett asked. 

After going through the contract and adoption process, Anders happily got to bring home his cat. Both Garrett and the volunteer worker at the shelter had looked at him odd when he'd named the cat Ser Pounce-a-lot. They'd gotten a carrier for him, but Anders had decided to hold the cat in his arms for the ride home. The cat seemed content to sleep comfortably. Anders caught a flash of white from the side of his eye. “Stop the car” Anders told Garrett. Garrett slammed on the breaks, jostling them forward. “What is it?” Garrett asked. Before Anders responded, he simply got out of the car, placing Pounce in his spot. “Anders!” Garrett called as Anders walked off. 

A man had someone pinned against the wall, but it was that signature flash of white hair that caught his attention. Anders stalked forward, but froze as he watched the gruff brute of a man kissing the smaller dark skinned man. The white haired man pushed against the larger guy, struggling to get away. Anders suddenly found his feet again, as well as his voice. “Let him go!” Anders said, moving forward. The shout gave the smaller man the distraction he needed, knee coming up to connect with the taller man's groin. The taller man dropped to the ground, clutching his privates. Green eyes defiantly met his. Spitting, the man turned away, stalking off in the opposite direction. 

Anders ran after him. “Wait!” Anders yelled. He heard footsteps behind him, but he couldn't find the care to check behind him. “Leto, wait!” Anders said. The man froze, but instead moved behind Anders. Anders turned in time to see the dark man's fist connect with his earlier attacker. “Learn a lesson scum. I don't take shit from anyone. Catch me on a better day and I may offer you a little” the dark man said. Suddenly, he turned on Anders. “ And you, say that name out loud again and I'll cut your tongue out of that pretty mouth” the man said. With that, Anders watched as he disappeared into an alley. 

Anders stood there dumbly, un-moving as his body refused to. Tears threatened to spill, but he fought them back. 'Not here' Anders told himself. Anders walked back to where Garrett had parked. Garrett stood outside of the car, smoke in hand. Garrett rarely smoked, only on rare occasions. Anders felt guilty. He was likely stressing his love out with all his ridiculousness. “Is everything okay?” Garrett asked, dropping the cigarette to stomp it out. “Yeah… I just… thought I saw something” Anders said, climbing numbly into the car, putting Pounce back into his lap. Garrett got in with him. 

The ride home was silent and Anders wasn't sure he wanted to talk. Not right now. Anders clung to his cat as he sat on the couch, changed into PJ's. He stroked Pounce's fur, the cat happily purring. Anders let out a shaky breathe. 'Leto is dead',' Say that name out loud again and I'll cut your tongue out of that pretty mouth'. The words whirled around Anders head. It was Leto, but somehow he'd changed. He was no longer the person Anders remembered. Not that sweet boy, with a gentle smile. Not the boy who'd almost uttered the words I love you. Garrett hadn't said a word to Anders, not even as he grabbed the remote to turn on the t.v. Was he mad? Anders knew he'd ruined tonight. What excuse did he have for this? Garrett had give him an amazing night and Anders had turned it into something out of a drama fill. 

Anders heard the snap of a cap popping off a bottle. He turned to Garrett. “You're angry” Anders said, looking at the beer in Garrett's hand. “I'm not angry, discouraged certainly, but not angry” Garrett assured, scooting over to Anders. He wrapped an arm around Anders shoulders, giving him a tight, yet reassuring squeeze. “I wanted tonight to be perfect.. you know? I also know, that nothing ever goes completely perfect. I just hate seeing you hurt and being so unsure of how to help you” Garrett explained. Anders leaned his head against Garrett's shoulder, tears slipping from his eyes. “I'm sorry” Anders whimpered with a sob. Garrett set down the beer, wrapping his arms more firmly around Anders. Pounce jumped out of Anders lap, slinking off to explore his new surroundings. “Don't be sorry. I understand that this is.. whatever this is” Garrett reassured, reaching out to wipe the tears of Anders face. “If you need to cry, cry. If you need to shout, by the maker, shout. Get it out” Garrett insisted. Anders crawled into Garrett's lap, burying his face into his chest. Sobs wracked through his body, shaking his whole frame. Calmly, Garrett held him close, rocking him soothingly. “There we go, let it out” Garrett soothed, letting out noise as if calming a small child. 

Anders wasn't sure what he would do without Garrett. He'd likely have fallen apart, but he knew he was safe, he could let himself believe Garrett wouldn't leave. At least for now.


	6. Possible Reconnection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justice shows concern for Anders well being. Fenris shows up at Anders clinic.

Anders sat in Justice's office, sipping a cup of coffee. It had been a little over 4 days since his little break down. Anders hadn't seen head nor hair of Leto.. or not Leto since then. At the moment, he had only just managed to sneak away from his patients. It had been his first bit of 'breakfast' that day and it was already 2 hours time before he went home. “Anders, I appreciate that you're here every day.. quite literally every day, but maybe you should have a bit of a break” Justice said, peering up from his computer desk. Anders looked at him skeptically. If Justice was saying that, Anders must truly look as haggard as he felt. He hadn't been sleeping well and maker knew he'd been keeping up Garrett as well. “I'm fine, Justice. Honestly. This coffee is doing wonders” Anders said. Justice hummed, before swiveling the chair from the desk. “You can not lie to me. I know you well. Rest could do you some good” Justice said. Anders nodded. “I'll consider it” Anders said. “You'll do it” Justice commanded. Anders gulped down his coffee. Okay, maybe he would. If he never had to see that side of Justice again of course. 

“Dr. Anders” Lirene called out. Anders sighed, setting down his coffee mug. “If you'll excuse me” Anders said, leaving the comfortable office. Walking over to Lirene, he took the chart out of her hand. “Fenris, but there's no last name” Anders studied the page intently, before it donned on him that he had a patient. Making haste to the room, he opened the door. Not looking up from the page, he spoke. “Dr. Anders. How can I help you today?” Anders asked, finally looking up from his clipboard. His breathe caught. Leto.. or he supposed Fenris, sat upon his observation table. “You” Anders said. Fenris looked at him. “Dr. Anders” Fenris said, eyes cautious. Anders moved towards him, before noticing the man was holding his side. Anders approached slowly, as though Fenris was an animal who may scurry off if he wasn't careful. 

“May I have a look?” Anders asked. Fenris removed his hand. Anders eyes widened. Fenris had what looked like a severe burn upon his side, something having clearly burnt through the side of his shirt as well. “Maker's breathe, what happened?” Anders inquired, moving quickly to gather what he needed to properly dress the wound. Fenris offered no response to Anders. Once everything was collected, Anders set to work cleaning and dressing the wound. Fenris gritted his teeth and didn't utter much of a sound, except for the occasional sharp inhale of air. 

Stepping back, Anders put things away. “How is your head healing?” Anders asked. Fenris looked away, eyes starring at the wall. “It's fine” Fenris said. Anders stepped forward, carefully looking over the stitched area. “Le- Fenris, you need to be keeping this clean” Anders scolded. Fenris shrugged. “I'm not afraid of death” Fenris said nonchalantly. Something about that statement hurt Anders. It seemed almost casual, as though Fenris didn't truly care one way or another. “Well, I fear you dying..” Anders muttered. Fenris froze at that, a dear caught in the head lights look. “I always have.. for years, I figure d that's what happened… I-” Anders began to spill out, but Fenris cut him off. “Leto did die… Leto no longer exists. I'm Fenris now” Fenris said, his tone hopeless, lost even. 

Anders felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes. “Why?” Anders questioned before he could stop. Fenris let out a sigh. “People change, Anders. Clearly you haven't, but I most definitely have…” Fenris said, standing up from the table. “Now, if you'll excuse me” Fenris said, brushing past Anders. Anders grabbed his arm. “Talk to me, please… Spare me at least a few minutes. You leave for years… You left when I was 10.. That's almost 19 years” Anders spoke, tone hushed. Fenris turned to him, pulling away. “Exactly. 19 years, Anders. Leave the past where it belongs. Whatever we were, whatever we felt, it's gone.. and so is the person you knew” Fenris said, yet again leaving Anders to fall apart. Except this time, Anders didn't. He wouldn't do this again. Not again.

Anders day lulled on til the very end. He couldn't just leave the past where it'd been. Not after finding it again. As he exited the clinic, he headed for the bus stop. Anders almost let out a scream as a hand clamped over his mouth, being dragged back into an alley. His eyes closed, panic taking over him. His heart raced erratically as he struggled against his attacker. “Calm down” the voice said. Anders stopped at that. Facing his attacker, Anders calmed. “Fenris” Anders surprise filling his voice. “You wanted to talk, let's talk” Fenris said. “Well, you could at least invite me over for coffee” Anders joked. Fenris' face took on a look of seriousness. “Or not, it was just a joke” Anders quickly exclaimed. “It's not.. I do not have a place to invite you” Fenris said. Anders just starred at him, slack jawed. “You mean-” Anders began. Fenris lifted a hand. “This is my home” Fenris said. Anders raised an eyebrow. “Outside the clinic?” Anders asked. Fenris shook his head exasperatedly. “No, the streets” Fenris said. 

Anders began to piece things together slowly. 'Catch me on my better days and I may offer you a little'. Anders recalled Fenris saying that to the man last week. Had Fenris been prostituting himself to get by? Anders face dropped. “Oh, Maker Leto” Anders choked. Fenris tensed. “What did I say about that name?” Fenris threatened. Anders looked away. “I'm sorry” Anders apologized. “It's Fenris now, adjust to it” Fenris said. Anders looked up. “Garrett's not do back for another hour.. Why don't you come back with me? I'll make you some food and tea or something” Anders offered politely. Fenris looked hesitant, as though he wanted to bolt. “It'll give us more privacy to talk” Anders said. Fenris reluctantly nodded and Anders couldn't hold back the bit of happiness that brought him. Maybe, finally, they could reconnect.


	7. Welcome to My Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders and Fenris share details of their missed past. Anders gets some clues as to who this new, yet old friend is now.

Pounce greeted them at the door, rubbing up against Anders legs with a meow. “And hello to you too, Ser Pounce-a-lot. Daddy will feed you in just a moment” Anders cooed, picking up the cat. Fenris moved awkwardly behind him, shutting the door in the process. “You have a cat?” Fenris asked. “Yes. Surprising isn't it?” Anders asked with a smile. Fenris almost smiled, but it didn't quite make it. “I recall as a child you always wanted a cat… Glad you finally got one” Fenris said. Anders set the cat down. “Yes, well, my parents didn't want one.. and then my foster parents” Anders began. Fenris stood opened mouthed for a moment, before the initial shock left his face. “It would.. seem I've missed a lot in your life as well” Fenris commented. Anders shrugged. “Not to much”Anders replied. 

As Fenris sat down in the kitchen, Anders took out food to feed Pounce. Pounce happily ran over to mow down his food. "Glutton" Anders murmured with a chuckle. Then going to the cupboards, he turned back to Fenris. “What would you like? Tea? Coffee? I think we may also have a bottle of wine somewhere..” Anders contemplated. “Wine would be wonderful if you have it” Fenris said, sitting awkwardly in the chair. “Make yourself comfortable. Garrett won't be back for a while yet” Anders said, digging around in the cupboards, before pulling out a bottle of wine. “It's a red wine, hope that's alright?” Anders questioned, setting down to glasses. Fenris nodded. “It is sufficient” Fenris replied. Pouring them both a glass, Anders sat down, taking a quick sip of his own. It was silky smooth and had an elegant finish. Anders was more for burbon or good ol' Jack Daniel's, but this would work. 

Anders stayed silent for a few moment, unsure of how to begin the conversation. He'd been so excited, that he hadn't even considered what he wanted to say. That was when Fenris spoke up. “So, what has the great doctor Anders done in his life?” Fenris asked, swirling the wine glass before taking a sip. “Well, let's see.. where do you want to start?” Anders asked, leaning over on his elbow, cheek in palm. “Start from the beginning” Fenris suggested. Anders nodded. “Well, let's see. After you left, I spent another 2 years with my parents. An incident happened with some other kids and a barn caught on fire. Cops took me away the next day because my dad was ashamed of me… Following that, I spent a few years in a juvenile detention centre to 'right my wrongs'” Anders said, sitting up straight. He'd also spent one year of it, looked in solitary due to something he hadn't done, but it was best he left that part out. 

“After I got out of there, I was sent to a foster home. My parents no longer wanted anything to do with me. I assume maybe my mother would have wanted me back… but you know how my father was. I completed my school and worked towards a medical degree where I met my first boyfriend, Karl. Wonderful man he is, but it just didn't work out. Soon after I left med school, is when I met Garrett. I want to say it was love at first sight, but it was a slow process.. And that's about that” Anders recounted. He knew it wasn't an exciting tale, not something that would be story book entertainment, but he was pretty ordinary after all. 

“Well, sounds like it's been.. quite the adventure” Fenris guessed. “It has definitely been. So what about our tale? Why the identity change and all?” Anders aked. Fenris seemed to consider something, as though he wouldn't tell him. As Fenris nodded to himself, it seemed he'd figured out whatever argument had been in his head. “After we left here, mother met a man. He seemed nice at first, doted on her, gave her everything. After they married, it kind of changed. He wasn't as nice anymore...” Fenris began, tone distant. “He kept her in, made her been like the perfect slave I guess you could say.. Even Varania suffered at his hands” Fenris' hatred towards the man shown through his words. “Eventually, mother had enough, but she couldn't support both Varania and I if she left. I offered to stay behind. Danarius, her husband, hadn't truthfull done anything to me at this point”. 

“I was 15 and living with my mother's ex-husband. Without my mother, he eventually changed his attitude towards me. Started courting me, giving me nice things. My name even changed to cut off ties from my real family. It was easier for him that way. I began to fall in love… foolish child I was.. I didn't know better… As the years went on, he became possessive, controlling. That's how I gained these tattoos. He wanted a master piece, to make me 'more beautiful' he'd said” Fenris stopped telling his story. It seemed as though it was hard on him, a confession he needed to spill, but couldn't finish. 

Anders reached out a hand, taking Fenris' into his own. Rubbing a thumb over Fenris' hand, Anders watched as he jerked back. Looking away for a moment, Anders composed himself. “If this is to hard for you-” Anders interjected. Fenris shook his head. “I haven't told anyone this.. so allow me to continue?” Fenris pleaded. Anders nodded. “Thank you… After these tattoos were embedded on my skin, is the first time Danarius bedded me. I was 18 at the time, so I was of age for consent… It was loving at first, as though I was precious, something he cherished.. and I forgave him for marking me, claiming me like a fancy new pet” Fenris spat out the last bit with venom. “I stayed with him for 10 years after that… I lived that life, chained like a rabid dog. His mistress, Hadriana.. She envied the attention doned on me, I wanted nothing more then to pass it off to her” Fenris said. 

Anders sat in horror at the story being told to him. One thing made no sense to him though. “If he named you, why did you keep it? Why not go back to… being you?” Anders tried to comprehend, but the very notion seemed to pass his mind. “As I told you, Leto is dead.. I can't be someone I no longer am. I grew into a different person.. the person who was Leto.. I'm undeserving of such. Little wolf is more suiting.. if a lone wolf fits the bit” Fenris said with a laugh devoid of humor. 

Before they could speak more on it, Anders heard the front door open. “Hello?” the baratone voice called out. Anders stood up from his chair, as Garrett walked into the kitchen. “Oh, we have a guest” Garrett said, a tired smile upon his face. Anders walked over to Garrett, placing a kiss upon his cheek. “Garrett, this is Fenris” Anders introduced, motioning his hands with his words. Garrett nodded, offering out a hand. “Well, Fenris, it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Garrett Hawke. Most people just call me Hawke, but you're welcome to call me Garrett” Garrett said formally. Fenris hesitantly took his hand, shaking it. “Pleasure to meet you, Hawke” Fenris said, his voice lacking the interest. Garrett gave an awkward clear of his throat. “Will Fenris be joining us for dinner?” Garrett asked, turning to Anders. 

Anders gave Fenris a hopeful look, to which Fenris agreed. Anders was more then happy to have guest for dinner. Especially one this special. “Then I guess I should start dinner. Is chicken alright?” Garrett asked, placing down his suit case and losening his tie. “I'm alright with anything, other then fish” Fenris notified. “No fish, got it” Garrett said, digging through the fridge for ingredients. Anders sat down, watching Garrett's back side. He almost regretted rushing out the door yet again this morning. Garrett did have a very fine back side, his body firmly muscled and it was obvious Garrett took care of his shape. Anders turned to Fenris, when suddenly an idea clicked in his mind. 

“Fenris, where will you be sleeping tonight?” Anders asked. Fenris sputtered for a moment, searching for an answer. “I-… Am uncertain” Fenris admitted. Anders' gaze drifted to Garrett. “Gaare” Anders said whimsically. “Yes” Garrett said in an answer, already knowing the question. Anders beamed over to Fenris. “We have a guest room. You're more then welcome to make yourself at home” Anders chimed. Fenris smiled shyly. “I… thank you” Fenris said. Anders would definitely make it up to Garrett for his agreement later. This was turning out better then he expected.


	8. Little Bit of Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically pure smut. This chapter turns the story into Explicit rating. So enjoy some smutty Handers!.

Dinner was spent chatting causal, Garrett discussing meetings with different companies and other new advancements. Anders added in his own tales of patients through-out the day. Fenris however, stayed relatively quiet. Anders wanted to bolster some conversation out of him, but it seemed nearly impossible. “So, Carver's get's this look on his face, like someone just told him Santa wasn't real. It was utter perfection” Garrett said with a laugh. Anders laughed along with him, even cracking a small smile from their brooding company. Garrett cleared his throat a moment later. “So, Fenris, tell me. What is it you do?” Garrett asked. 

Anders quickly elbowed Garrett in the side, sending a warning glance, which went ignored. Fenris however, offered a polite little smile. “I specialize in ripping out hearts and glowing” Fenris said, a sadistic smirk upon his face. Garrett choked on his sip of wine, eyes widened and mouth hung open. “I'm joking” Fenris said. Garrett smirked. “Well, that's a very.. different sense of humour” Garrett said. Fenris shrugged. “It get's me by. Though truthfully I have no current employment, nor living space” Fenris said. A look of pity crossed Garrett's face. “Well, I'm sorry to hear about that… You know what? That guest room is always empty..” Garrett began. Fenris shook his head. “I couldn't impose” Fenris said quickly. “No, I insist. If I can be of any help, I'd be more then happy to” Garrett insisted. 

After much convincing, Fenris agreed to stay with them. Anders was thrilled by the prospect of Fenris staying with them, but Anders wondered why Garrett had offered. Anders hadn't even yet told Garret who Fenris truly was. Finally showered and cleaned up, Anders sat in the living room with a glass of wine in hand. Fenris had went off to bed early, leaving Anders to wait for Garrett. Sipping his wine leisurely, he then placed it down and leaned his head back. Closing his eyes, he let out a content sigh. Anders eyes opened slightly as lips pressed against his in an upside down kiss. 

When Garrett pulled away, Anders leaned up for another quick kiss. Garrett moved to sit beside him, drawing him close. “You're in a good mood. It suits you” Garrett said, placing a kiss to Anders jaw. “Remember how I told you about Leto…” Anders began. Garrett stopped, looking into Anders eyes. “I remember, we did just spend a week in your past” Garrett said. Anders cringed a bit, guilt clear upon his face. “Hey, I didn't mean it like that” Garrett said. Anders smiled sadly. “I know you didn't… but Fenris.. he's” Anders began. Garrett reached out for Anders hand, toying with the ring upon his finger. “I know. I pieced it together. He can stay as long as he needs. It may do you some good to reconnect with him, maybe finally get that much needed closure. I'll also see what I can do for him tomorrow job wise. I'm sure the firm is looking for people” Garrett said. Anders leaned over, kissing Garrett. “You're wonderful, you know that?” Anders whispered against Garrett's lips. “I think you've said it once or twice” Garrett whispered back.

Anders moved to straddle Garrett's hips. “You could show me though” Garrett proposed with a wink. Anders trailed kisses along his neck. “That's the plan” Anders said, licking a line up to his jaw. Anders ran fingers through Garrett's beard, nipping at his cheek playful. “How do you want it?” Anders marvelled. Garrett rocked his hips up. “Right here” Garrett murmured, lean back up to capture his lips. Anders whimpered into the kiss, a desperate moan escaping him as Garrett nipped his lip hard. Garrett pupils dilated, desire clear in his eyes. Anders suspected he looked about the same. 

Anders broke the kiss to lift Garrett's pyjama top off. Anders licked his lips as tight muscles rippled over tanned skin. Drawing in a shaky breathe, he took in the sight. He'd seen it time and again, but it never stopped the reaction his body had. The desperation that rose through him, making him wish to tear every piece of clothing off right now. How he wanted to be fucked into the couch, to scream Garrett's name. Suddenly, something clicked. “Wait.. but, Fenris-” Anders began. Garrett raised a finger. “We'll have to be quite then, won't we?” Garrett spoke with amusement in his voice. Anders drew Garrett's finger into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. Garrett's breathe hitched and Anders knew the effect this had on Garrett, could feel the effect it had as Anders ground down his hips. 

Anders let the finger slide from his lips, moving to trail kisses along Garrett's body, tracing his tongue over a nipple. “Anders” Garrett breathed out, reaching out to skim through blonde locks. Anders focused on his task, one destination in mind, as he slipped off the couch between Garrett's spread legs. Anders ran his thumbs up Garrett's hips, tension clear in them. Anticipation was clear in every flex of muscle and Anders was happy to tease. Lightly he sank his teeth into Garrett's hip causing the man to jerk, a groan escaping him. Anders slowly peeled back the waistband of Garrett's pants, fully aware the man wore no boxers to bed. 

Anders eyes locked as Garrett's cock sprung free of it's confines. “Maker, I'll never get tired of how big you are” Anders sighed happily. Garrett smiled. “Well, I'd be pretty dis-proportioned if the package didn't match the box” Garrett said. Anders bit his lip, holding back a laugh. For a moment, he placed his head on Garrett's thigh, shaking in his attempt to hold back. “You have horrible timing” Anders said finally, getting himself under control. Garrett smiled affectionately. “I have a great sense of dramatic timing and good hair… now hush” Garrett scoffed to cover his own laugh. Anders looked up a him, a twinkle in his eyes. “Your hair is pretty fabulous” Anders said. Garrett reached down to pet Anders head. “Are we serious doing this right now? I have a dashing doctor between my legs and instead we're trading jokes..” Garrett spoke, as he gentle caressed Anders cheek. “We should fix that.” Anders said, leaning down to move his tongue around the slit of Garrett's cock. Garrett's hand gripped Anders hair as Anders slowly drew the head into his mouth. “Yes” Garrett hissed out. Anders lowered his mouth further, until his nose touched the thick path of dark curls surrounding Garrett's hard length.

Anders hummed as he pulled back. It had taken him a long time to adjust to taking Garrett's size completely. It had been no small feat, but now it came easily. Anders could taste the precum in his mouth. Definitely an acquired taste, but Garrett didn't taste half bad. Maybe it was because Anders had been with guys who.. most definitely didn't keep clean in these areas, but Anders appreciated Garrett's need for proper hygiene. Closing his eyes, Anders bobbed his head along the length, taking it to his throat and back out. Garrett's hips pushed up, tired of holding back as he began to claim Anders mouth. 

Anders felt his eyes water for a moment, as he adjusted to breathing through his nose properly. Garrett grunted and Anders could feel the swell of Garrett's cock in his mouth. Pulling back, he placed a quick kiss to the tip. Garrett let out a sound of protest, but Anders simply gave a teasing smile. “ Wouldn't you much rather lose yourself inside me?” Anders asked, crawling back into Garrett's lap, after he shimmed himself out of his own bottoms. 

Garrett hummed his agreement, as Anders kissed him thoroughly. Anders rocked his hips back, Garrett's hard cock rubbing between his cheeks. “Lube?” Garrett mumbled against Anders lips. Anders pulled back a moment, digging around in the side table. Pulling out a small bottle, he chuckled darkly. “We're going to have to stop leaving these around you know” Anders said. Garrett shrugged. “I like the idea of spontaneously fucking you against a wall or in the kitchen...” Garrett trailed of as he watched Anders coat his fingers. “Are you?” Garrett began to question. A sly look crossed Anders face, before it broke out into a silent moan. Garrett hadn't let his eyes trail from that hand. Anders felt Garrett's eyes watching every rock of his hips. Anders dipped his head forward, leaning into the crook of Garrett's shoulder as he prepared himself. 

Garrett murmured praise and approval within his ear. Anders shook with the effort of holding back his moans. He was never the silent type during sex. His partners liked vocal. Garrett in particular seemed to be drawn to Anders voice, but right now, the only sounds were that of Anders fingers working himself open and Garrett's breathe rushing past his ear.  
Eventually working three fingers in, Anders had taken to mouthing against Garrett's neck, doing his best to stay silent. “Be loud. Let him hear you” Garrett growled out. Anders froze at the command, but Maker's breathe did he want to be loud. Anders whimpered against Garrett as he pulled fingers out. “For you, I'll scream” Anders whispered, with a nip to Garrett's ear. Garrett groaned. “Such a good boy” Garrett murmured lovingly. Anders rose his hips up a bit, positioning himself over top of Garrett's cock. Garrett's hands reached up to grip Anders hips for support, as Anders sunk down upon Garrett's cock. 

The stretch was delicious, even with the burn. It burned in all the right ways and Anders couldn't hold back the moan that broke free of his lips. “Fuck, Garrett” Anders cried out, as it filled him completely. 9 inches of heaven was buried deep inside him. Anders needed Garrett, wanted Garrett. Anders kissed him, passion over taking him as he rocked his hips. Garrett took that as his signal to move. The thrusts were slow and deep, Anders meeting everyone of them. Their kiss turning slow to match. Garrett watched Anders with awe. “You're beautiful, you know that?” Garrett asked. Anders blushed at the compliment as he was rocked by the thrusts atop Garrett. “You're looking pretty fine yourself” Anders said. Anders cried out as Garrett sent a particularly sharp thrust, hitting that spot that made everything light up. “Again. Fuck, Garrett” Anders begged. Garrett followed it up again and again. Anders wrapped his arms around Garrett's neck, rocking his hips in time, hitting that spot perfectly each time. Anders voice grew louder, crying out profanities, along with Garrett's name.

Pants and groaned filled the room. “So close… so close… right there” Anders babbled, begging. Garrett's hand wrapped firmly around Anders bobbing length, squeezing firmly, stroking it just right. Anders cried out his release, cum splattering upon his shirt and Garrett's hand. Anders panted heavily, moans flowing out of his mouth as Garrett chased his own release. Garrett placed his head against Anders, his groan muffled. 

Both sat there, panting and recollecting themselves. Anders slowly stood up, cum dripping slowly down his leg. “I think we'll need another shower before bed..” Garrett advised. Anders shrugged, shifting himself slightly. “Yes, well” Anders stated in agreement. Garrett stood up, pulling Anders into his arms. Kissing him lightly, Garrett swallowed back Anders moan, as a finger was pressed into his leaking hole. “No” Anders murmured against his lips. “Yes” Garrett retaliated, adding another finger. Anders knew they could both go another round, be he was sated as it was. Maker knew Garrett was always ready for round two though. “Shower” Anders demanded. To which Garrett gave a firm yes sir. 

Anders slept well that night. No dreams of his past and no worries at all. Everything was how it should be. Content and perfect in his own world. At least for now, but Anders could accept the for now part.. If it lasted longer then a short time.


	9. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris fears he's over stepping with being there, Anders tries to reassure him.

Anders stretched out on the bed, his body extremely tired. Despite his best efforts to stop Garrett, they'd gone another few rounds before sleep had finally taken over. He hummed as Garrett's weight pressed against his back. Garrett's hands trailed up and down his sides. Anders could feel the clear hard on between Garrett's legs, pressed firmly against Anders thigh. “You've got to be kidding me” Anders huffed, attempting to sound annoyed. Garrett kissed the back of his neck and then both his shoulders. Anders shivered as a tongue darted out, tracing over his freckles. “Garrett” Anders gasped. Garrett then massaged his hands into Anders sides. Anders felt blissful. “Don't you need to work?” Anders asked. “I can sacrifice another hour or so” Garrett said. Garrett straddled Anders hips. Anders heard a drawer opening and then a cap snapping open. 

Anders felt wet fingers trail along his already fucked open hole. “I'll never leave this bed again” Anders mumbled into his pillow, as a finger dipped in. Anders gyrated his hips, not completely surprised at how easily Garrett slipped in the other two fingers. A knock on the door jolted the two apart, a keening sound leaving Anders as fingers slipped out. “Fuck” Garrett breathed. Anders sat up. “Just a minute” Anders said, stiffly moving from the bed to pull on a new shirt and clean pants. “No boxers? Now that's scandalous” Garrett said with a laugh. Anders shot him a playful glare, as Garrett tucked himself under the blankets. 

Opening the door, he was met with an awkward looking Fenris. “Good morning” Anders said, smiling to hopefully ease Fenris' discomfort. Anders shut the door behind him, stepping forward. “How's that burn doing?” Anders asked. Fenris shrugged. “It's… painful to say the least, but that is not why I've disturbed your… rest” Fenris said, trailing off as though to hint he knew what they'd been up to. Anders blushed. “I- of course” Anders said, moving around Fenris to go into the kitchen. 

Anders busied himself with making coffee. “Sugar and or cream?” Anders asked, looking over his shoulder. “No, black please” Fenris said. Anders nodded, humming to distract himself. Things felt slightly tense and he couldn't pinpoint why. “Anders” Fenris said in an attempt to get the blonde man's attention. Anders turned to Fenris, a slight tilt to his head. “If I've wrongfully invaded your space...” Fenris began. 

Anders walked towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Fenris flinched, but didn't pull away. “You're welcome here Fenris. For as long as you need. Garrett's even offered to help you with finding a job” Anders said, pushing some cheer into his voice. “This is not.. so much about that as it is about… your last night activities” Fenris confessed. Anders froze for a moment. “Maker, I'm sorry Fenris...” Anders apologized. Fenris shook his head. “You two are lovers, it seems only logical that you two would engage in such activities” Fenris said. Anders blushed. “I'm still sorry. We aren't exactly.. subtle people when it comes to.. those things I suppose” Anders said, running a hand through his own hair. Anders winced as fingers snagged on a knot. Lovely. He hadn't even brushed what was likely a mess upon his head. 

Anders went back to his task of making them coffee, giving Fenris a cup. Sitting down, Anders leaned forward in his chair. “Fenris, I want to help you. Garrett wouldn't allow you back on the streets either. We may have spent years apart and you may not be.. well.. you anymore, but please” Anders almost begged, but not quite. “Isn't it to early in the morning to be begging?” Garrett asked, as he tiredly stumbled into the kitchen. “In the sense of which I imagine you using that, yes” Anders said. Garrett poured himself a coffee, sitting down beside Anders. “How'd you sleep, Fenris?” Garrett asked. “Like there was a cat in heat yowling outside” Fenris said with a smirk. Anders stiffened and Garrett bellowed out a bark of laughter. “I like him, let's keep him” Garrett said, taking a large swallow of his coffee. Fenris seemed to grow a little awkward again at that, but there was still the shadow of a smile upon his face.

“Aren't you running late yet?” Anders questioned Garrett, changing the subject. Garrett shrugged. “Not yet, though I was wondering if Fenris would like to accompany me. I could speak to my father about hiring you in” Garrett said, turning a look on Fenris. Fenris hesitated a moment. “ I would be grateful… but can it truly be done so quickly?” Fenris asked. Anders reached a hand up to run up Garrett's arm. “Why not discuss it with Malcolm first? Then we can introduce Fenris. As a doctor, I would prefer Fenris rest for today” Anders said. Anders truly just wanted to hear more about Fenris first and spend the day, since Anders wasn't allowed into work today. Garrett grabbed for Anders hand, squeezing lightly. “Sounds like a plan” Garrett said, before turning back to Fenris. “If we're been to forceful with things, don't hesitate to speak up. I know I can be somewhat pushy at times” Garrett apologized. Fenris shook his head. “I greatly appreciate it. It would be nice to find my feet again” Fenris hurriedly replied, as though he may end up insulting Garrett if he didn't. “Well then that's settled, breakfast anyone?” Anders asked.


	10. Avoidance and Ignorance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders delves a little further into the past. Garrett has a talk with Fenris.

Anders leisurely stretched out on the couch, Fenris on the loveseat. They'd picked a movie on Netflix after Garrett had left, which soon turned into a movie marathon. They seemed to be avoiding the conversation, one they both knew needed to be had. Yet it seemed so much easier to just ignore it all together, pretend it wasn't really needed at all. Fenris looked thoroughly uncomfortable, sitting there with his knees pulled up, chin resting upon them. Green eyes starred intently at the screen, purposely not looking towards Anders. 

With a sigh, Anders shifted to face Fenris. “So, can I ask a somewhat.. personal question?” Anders asked aloud, before he could think. Fenris' eyes darted to him, before darting back to the screen. “What is it?” Fenris questioned, his tone stating he really didn't want to answer anything. “Do you remember when we were little and just before we saw each other for the last time…. You were going to say something… What was it?” Anders asked, sitting up more straight, as Pounce moved to his lap.

Fenris' eyes widened at that, a blush settling upon his face. “Maybe I had wished to call you an idiot” Fenris offered. Anders frowned at that. Fenris turned to him, a small smile upon his face. “I am simply joking. We were young, I don't even remember half of that” Fenris said. Anders looked down at the cat in his lap, stroking the soft fur. “I see..” Anders said, sadly. He remembered everything, remembered the scraps and bruises. Anders remembered the cruel pranks they'd played on Varania. Yet Fenris didn't and it somewhat stung, clenching his heart tightly. 

Fenris remembered it, remembered the words he had wanted to speak. It had also been the first time he'd realized he liked boys. Fenris could recall wishing to kiss Anders as they parted, but with the thoughts that they'd never truly see each other again, Fenris had given up at the idea of love. For years, he'd told himself he didn't need it. He'd avoided sending messages or writing to Anders. Not when he knew it'd only hurt, only cause pain. The words he'd wished to speak, the ones he'd wanted to let slip. I love you. 

Seeing Anders again, had lit that same flame inside Fenris' heart. Anders however, had someone. Someone who very obviously loved him deeply. Fenris was glad Anders had found someone. A person who wouldn't break his heart or make him cry. Fenris watched the people upon the screen, watched as the woman profusely confessed her love for a man. Why was love this difficult? Why was Fenris having these feelings after so many years of denying them? Fenris had boyfriends through-out the years. That and of course the occasional fuck buddy. Originally, his tastes had fallen into those of blonde men, but none ever truly took the place of Anders. Not in his mind.

Fenris un-tucked himself from being curled up, stretching his legs as he stood. “I've decided I'll go out for a bit. Is there anything you need?” Fenris asked, tilting his head. Anders looked up from the cat, raising an eyebrow at Fenris. “ If you're going out, can you at least allow me to re-bandage your burn before you go? I want to make sure it doesn't get infected… or you'll be seeing me for a whole other reason” Anders said, his voice turning to that of a professional. Fenris rolled his eyes. Even as a child, Anders had always been strict on keeping his injuries cleaned and cared for. Scrapped knees, road burn, twisted limbs and even the one time Fenris had broken his arm. With a sigh, Fenris nodded. “Yes, I suppose that's acceptable” Fenris said. 

Anders lead Fenris into the bathroom, pulling out his first aid kit, among other things. Turning to Fenris, Anders quirked an eyebrow. “Shirt. Off” Anders said. Fenris looked hesitant. “Honestly. Don't play shy now. It's not going to wrap it's self” Anders scolded. Fenris obeyed, grabbing the hem of his shirt. Hefting it over his head, Anders had to look away as he saw Fenris' muscles flex under his skin. Maker, but Fenris had grown to be a rather attractive man. As lithe as he was, there was just something appealing to the dark skin and deep voice. Sin incarnate is the way he'd describe it. 

“Anders” Fenris said. Anders turned back, a knowing smirk upon Fenris' face. Ignoring it, Anders moved to Fenris' side, kneeling down beside the stool Fenris had sat on. Unwrapping his old bandage, Anders apologized as Fenris hissed. “Sorry, sorry. It's going to be sore for a while, just bare with me” Anders said, setting to work. He was as gentle as he could be, trying his best not to cause more discomfort. Once finished, Anders tossed the dirty bandages and put things away. “Better?” Anders asked. Fenris shrugged. “It's bearable” Fenris agreed. Anders nodded, before another question came to mind. “What happened anyway?”. Fenris looked away. “Angry clients can sometimes prove to be crazy” Fenris offered no more after that. “You mean-” Anders began, but Fenris raised a hand. “Going now” Fenris said, moving as though he couldn't escape fast enough. 

Anders recalled taking a nap on the couch after Fenris had left. As he opened his eyes though, he noticed he was in his room. Pounce was curled up at his side, fast asleep. Anders sat up, looking around confused. Maker, what time was it? Anders wondered to himself. The bedroom door was cracked open a bit and he could hear the sound of voice flutter into the room . “I don't know why you reached out to him. He would have been fine again, healed eventually… You've put him through a hell of a roller coast” Anders heard the disapproval lacing Garrett's voice, as the man spoke. Silence followed it, no other sound. Maybe he was on the phone? Anders slid out of bed, doing his best not to stir Pounce from his sleep. Tip toeing his way to the door, Anders peaked around it slightly. Fenris sat opposite of Garrett upon the couch, looking every bit guilty. Anders heart clenched at the sight. 

“It was never my intention to see him again. If I could have avoided him I would have, but as things stand, it seems luck is not on my side. I apologize for imposing on what you have here… I'll be out as soon as possible” Fenris said, his eyes avoiding Garrett. Anders sent a glare towards Garrett, before realizing neither of them knew he was here. Eavesdropping was definitely wrong. Anders was about to turn back to the bed, when Garrett's voice spoke up. “I'm not asking you to leave, Fenris. I do however advise you to understand that Anders belongs to me” Garrett said. Anders froze, heart thudding in his chest. Anders boiled through him, but he clamped down on it quick. Now was not the time to lose it, but he also couldn't accept the way Garrett was speaking to Fenris. Anders was not some pretty possession. He could make these decisions himself. That place didn't belong to Garrett. 

“I understand. I have no intention of getting between you two”.


	11. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders isn't happy with the way Garrett spoke to Fenris and he makes it known.

Anders threw open the bedroom door, anger radiating from him. A look of surprise crossed both their face. Anders pointed towards Garrett. “You. Bedroom. Now” Anders said, before slamming the door behind him for dramatic effect. Sitting down on the bed, Anders crossed his arms over his chest. What the hell was Garrett thinking? Had he missed the part of Fenris being important to Anders? What had happened to being friendly and accepting. Anders watched the door open, saw the sway in Garrett's steps. Drinking. Anders couldn't find a care for it at the moment. “What the hell were you thinking?!” Anders exclaimed. Garrett quickly shut the door, locking it behind him. “I was just thinking about how sexy you look, when you're angry” Garrett said, a smug look upon his face. 

Anders blood boiled at the reaction. Garrett slowly stumbled his way over, sitting himself beside Anders. No one would ever tell by Garrett's speech, that he was drunk. It was the motions and actions of the man that spoke volumes. “Garrett. I'm being serious right now” Anders said. Garrett leaned over, blowing into Anders ear. “As am I. Funny how that workers” Garrett purred, licking the shell of Anders ear, before suckling the earlobe into his mouth. A whimper escaped Anders, before he was pushing Garrett aside. Standing up, Anders grabbed his coat. “You know what, I'll talk when you can take me seriously. Sober up” Anders said, leaving Garrett to his own devices. 

Fenris looked awkward, as though he was out of place. Anders supposed he couldn't blame him. “Fenris” Anders said, walking over to him. “We're going out”. Fenris looked up. “Are you certain that would be wise?” Fenris asked. Anders shrugged. “He'll come to after. Ignore what he's said for now” Anders said. Fenris didn't seem all to pleased with the idea, but Anders could assure him later. Right now, he needed some air. Air away from Garrett. Fenris finally agreed, before following Anders out. 

They walked silently beside each other, Anders slowly finding himself calming. “I am.. sorry. It is no likely sufficient enough… but-” Fenris began, but Anders was quick to cut him off. “Don't you dare apologize for Garrett” Anders interjected. Fenris looked away. “I should be the one apologizing about him. We offered you a place to stay, only for him to act like.. this” Anders sighed. “His… concern was not uncalled for. If I have caused you distress in the last little while, I am entirely sorry for such” Fenris intoned. Anders shook his head. “It's fine Fenris… And for the record, I'm not a possession. So if I wanted to do this-” Anders informed, leaning into press a chaste kiss to Fenris' lips, before he went on. “I very well could” Anders said.

Fenris had frozen, gone stiff as stone. His eyes comically wide, as he starred at Anders. Anders realized what he'd just done, a blush spreading across his face. “I am soo sorry. I just acted without thinking and maker… why did I-” Anders puzzled. Fenris' fingers went to his lips. “I think it is time we return” Fenris said, finally moving to walk past Anders. Anders walked him walk away, wondering if had truly been that bad for Fenris. Anders hadn't meant to scare him off like that. Maybe it was best to return home. Yes… home.

Fenris had immediately went to his room, leaving Anders alone in the living room. For his day off, he certainly felt worn out. Even with his few hour long nap in between. To many times in the last while, he'd found himself curled up on this couch, on the verge of breaking down. Yet this time, it had been Garrett to cause the emotional turmoil he was now feeling. Anders wondered if Garrett had done what he asked, but chances were the man had simply passed out on the bed. 

Going to the linen closet, Anders pulled out extra pillows and a blanket for himself. As he finished setting up the couch, Garrett chose then to walk out of the room. “Let's talk” Garrett said, plopping himself down on Anders just made bed. Anders glared. “What if I don't want to talk now” Anders asked. Garrett reached out, pulling him down into a fierce cuddle. “I'm not giving you that choice. You're just going to listen. For once, just listen” Garrett almost pleaded. Anders gave an indignant huff, but said nothing, so Garrett continued. 

“I didn't mean to speak to Fenris like that. Well, maybe that's not entirely true. I've watched you fall apart over him, lose yourself in the last week… My initial thought, had been to warn him off, let him know I wouldn't tolerate you being hurt. Not again. I guess, as I continued, I got a little possessive.. I've been watching the way you look at him and I know… I've seen you look like that, but at me… Jealousy isn't a nice emotion, it makes us stupid” Garrett said, nuzzling against Anders neck. Anders shimmied himself in, closer to Garrett, as not to roll off the couch. Anders let the words roll over in his head, trying to figure out how to best approach the issue. “Garrett, next time… let me deal with it… I'm not your toy. You're my lover, not my keeper” Anders said, but there was no fury to his words. Garrett kisses Anders collarbone, before nodding. “I love you” Garrett murmured. “I'll love you tomorrow, when you apologize to Fenris” Anders said. Garrett looked up at him, searching his eyes. “You can't be serious” Garrett exasperated. Anders kissed Garrett's nose. “I love you, every day, every minute.. but please.. don't make me lose him again” Anders pleaded. Garrett nodded. “I won't”.


	12. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett and Fenris are back to getting along. Fenris has a question.

A week had gone by since the spat between Fenris and Garrett's little fall out. Thing had smoothed out since then, after Garrett of course apologized for it. Anders was thankful for that. He didn't know if he'd of been able to last through the awkwardness. Fenris had earned himself a job as Garrett's personal secretary. It wasn't overly fancy, but it was something to say the least. Anders picked up the clipboard of Lirene's desk, reading over the patients. A couple more and he would be free to go home for the day. 

Something catching his eye, Anders looked up from the clipboard. “Lirene, it says here Dr. Demitri is working today, you haven't seen him perchance, have you?” Anders asked curiously. Lirene shook her head. “Last I heard, he was in with a rather stubborn patient. Why, is something the matter?” Lirene asked. Anders shook his head. “No, it's fine. Thank you” Anders said, setting the clipboard down. Calling in the next patient, he set to work. 

After finishing, he happened to bump into the smaller doctor. Dr. Demitri was fresh out of school and definitely a great addition to the clinic. Things got finished smoothly and everything was always perfect. The black hair, gold eyed doctor was somewhat of a mystery in his ways. Whimsical and… different, Anders supposed. “Just the person I was looking for” Anders said with a smile. Demitri looked up at him. “Me? What can I do for you, Dr.Anders?” Demitri asked. “I was going through the charts earlier and something caught my eye. A patient named Fenris was in a month ago for testing of sorts. He's been in recently for a cut on his head, as well as burns to his side… I was wondering what the results of his test were?” Anders asked. He wouldn't admit his own personal curiosity towards it, but he wanted to know, needed to know. 

Demitri's eyebrow shot up in wonder for a moment, before he bit at a lip in thought. “If I recall, I think it all came out negative. I suppose it would fall as a concern though” Demitri said, a smile across his face. Anders nodded. “Just slightly. It's best to be sure I treat all patients to the best of my ability” Anders offered. Demitri nodded. “Yes, that is true. Well, I must be off… I have a date tonight. Wouldn't want to be late” Demitri said, a bit of amusement to his voice. “I hear you there, Garrett's rather pushy himself when it comes to… being on time” Anders laughed. Demitri nodded. “Well, you have yourself a wonderful evening. Remind me to invite you over sometime for dinner” Demitri insisted. Anders nodded, before bidding him farewell.

Anders seen to everything been cleaned up, checking for booked appointments tomorrow and then made his way out of the clinic. It seemed Garrett wasn't out here to pick him up. Looking at his watch, it was 5 minutes past time and Anders wasn't to thrilled about the idea of waiting out here. Taking out his cellphone, he dialed Garrett's number. It rang.. and continued to ring. With a sigh of annoyance, Anders shut his phone. What could Garrett possibly be up to? Anders could guess the man was likely held up at work, but Anders hadn't brought any change with him for the bus. Maybe if he began to walk, Garrett would pass him at some point. 

Anders pulled his keys out of his pocket, having walked all the way home, he currently just wished to curl up in bed. Maybe snuggle Pounce and watch a movie, but nothing to exciting. Unlocking the door, Pounce greeted him, weaving around his legs. “At least you didn't forget me” Anders said, bending down to pick up the orange ball of fur. Going into his bedroom, he changed out of his scrubs and into a comfortable pair of pj pants. They happened to be his favourite, all fuzzy and warm. Not bother with a shirt, he curled up on the bed with Pounce. “And how was you're day?” Anders cooed, scratching the cat under the chin. Pounce simply purred and butted his head against Anders. “I'll take that as full of peaceful naps” Anders joked.

It was almost an hour longer, before he heard Fenris and Garrett enter the house. They chattered angrily and Anders hoped this wasn't another fight brewing. Pulling himself away from the sleeping feline, Anders drew himself from the bed. “What's going on?” Anders asked, causing the two to freeze and look at him. Fenris cleared his throat, looking away with a blush. Garrett simply smiled. “Well, aren't you sexy. Shirtless and bedhead, never looked sexier. Should I be worried about another man in my bed?” Garrett teased. Anders laughed. “Definitely. Pounce is such an amazing lover you know. He's definitely great for cuddles” Anders said, before remembering he was upset with Garrett.  
“You” Anders said. Garrett gave him a look of pure innocents. “Me?” Garrett questioned. “I walked home, you know. It was a long walk” Anders said. Fenris spoke up before Garrett could. “We'd meant to leave on time, only Aristide had.. other ideas. As did Malcolm and things piled up before we could escape” Fenris offered. Anders sighed. “I figured as much” Anders said, a pout upon his face. Garrett walked towards Anders, wrapping arms around him. “Let me make it up to you, I'll make dinner?” Garrett asked, kissing Anders cheek. Anders sighed with a nod. “Fine, I guess that's acceptable, but next time I may not be as forgiving”. 

By the time dinner was done, Garrett had decided to turn in for the night, leaving Fenris and Anders to their own devices. “I've… a question, if I may” Fenris began. Anders turned to him, a look of worry crossing his face. “Is something wrong?” Anders questioned. Fenris shook his head. “No.. It's just.. you.. kissed me” Fenris stated, matter of factly. “That's not a question Fenris” Anders joked. “No, it isn't. The question, is why?” Fenris asked. Anders pondered it for a moment. “I was upset with Garrett, but you are an attractive man Fenris, I decided giving in couldn't cause harm” Anders said. Fenris hummed in thought. “You're faithful to Garrett though, aren't you?” Fenris asked. Anders nodded. “I mean, I want to be… but you Fenris, have me thinking some rather… inappropriate things”. Anders leaned back in his spot. “I am sorry, Anders. This was not my intention. I believe I'll turn in for the night” Fenris said, standing up from his chair. Anders quickly stood with him, pulling Fenris into his embrace. “Don't” Anders said, leaning into kiss Fenris chastely. 

Fenris pulled back, green eyes wide. “Anders, you are engaged. Do not do this. I can't.. not when you belong to him” Fenris said, making a mad dash to his room. Anders pressed two fingers to his lips. What the hell was he thinking? Was he beginning to act on impulse? To simply do without a thought? Garrett didn't deserve Anders doing this, but Anders was confused. His heart wanted to much. How were things become so confusing so fast? 

Heading slowly to his room, Anders stripped off his shirt, climbing into bed beside Garrett. Garrett's arms wrapped around him. “Does he kiss as well as I do?” Garrett murmured in his ear. Anders froze, holding his breathe. Had Garrett seen that? Did he know what had transpired? “You..” Anders began. Garrett lifted a finger, pressing it to Anders lips. “I don't want to know… just stay with me? Get whatever this is out of your system… Don't leave me” Garrett said, nuzzling against Anders cheek. Anders heart thudded in his chest. As his breathing came back, a sob ripped through him. Garrett shushed him, pulling Anders face to his chest. “I know..” Garrett murmured against his head. “I know”.


	13. Sick Day and An Odd Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders awakens to a sick Garrett. Story mostly in Fenris' P.O.V

The clock read 7 and Anders had awaken to Garrett's side of the bed empty. At first, Anders had figured maybe Garrett had just gone to the bathroom, but as the clock rolled to 7:20, Anders pulled himself out of bed. Slipping on a shirt, Anders popped his head out of the bedroom. “Garrett” Anders called out. A cough sounded from the kitchen, drawing Anders towards it. 

Anders walked to the kitchen to find Garrett with his legs pulled up upon a chair. He had a cup of tea in one hand and Kleenex in the other. “Garrett” Anders said, voice filled with concern. “ I'm fine” Garrett rasped out. Anders walked towards him, placing a hand on Garrett's forehead. “Garrett, you're warm. Why didn't you wake me?” Anders asked. “Didn't want to worry you. Just a cold” Garrett wheezed, as another cough seized him. Anders huffed, crossing his arms. “Garrett, you know better. Have you taken anything?” Anders questioned. “We didn't have anything” Garrett said, before another cough racked his body. 

The sound of a door opening caused them both to turn their gaze towards the hall. Fenris, bare excepted for a pair of sleep pants, walked in, rubbing a set of tired eyes. Blinking the sleep out of them, he seemed to evaluate the situation before him. “Is something wrong?” he asked. Garrett shrugged his shoulders, a soft smile crossing his face. “Just a cold” he offered. Fenris frowned a bit. “Is.. there anything I can help with?” Fenris asked. Anders considered it for a moment. “Yes actually, can you call work and inform them Garrett will be away sick today?” Anders asked. Fenris nodded. “Of course” Fenris agreed. “We also have no cold meds… if you don't mind…?” Garrett began, trailing off to leave the question had. “I shall return shortly” Fenris said and left to get things done. 

Garrett pulled Anders down into his lap, burying his head in the crook of Anders neck. “ Garrett” Anders scolded. Garrett nuzzled his neck, planting a kiss to his collarbone. “Please? You're my fiancé after all… Work gets in the way of us” Garrett pouted. Anders sighed. “As much as I love you, sharing your cold is where I draw the line” Anders pointed out. A shaky, wheezy sigh escaped Garrett. “Why?” Garrett questioned. “Because I don't want to take time off work” Anders stated. Garrett shook his head, placing a small kiss to Anders cheek. “Not that. Why him?” Garrett wondered. “I don't know” Anders said, honestly. Anders knew this was hurting Garrett, but he didn't know, didn't understand what he wanted here. Did he want to leave Garrett for Fenris? Did he want to tell Fenris that his presence was confusing things? He didn't want to do any of that. Both of them deserved better. Better then him.

~~~~~~~

After Fenris had returned with medicine, Anders had set Garrett up with everything he would need. Fenris himself, had been given the day off, since Garrett would be here. As Anders left, Fenris realized this would ultimately leave him alone with Garrett. Doing his best to avoid him, Fenris had taken to his room, spending most of the morning with Netflix. That was at least until he was interrupted. “Fenris” he heard Garrett's voice call out to him, followed by a cough. 

Fenris went to the living room, to the larger man curled up on the couch. Pounce was laying close beside him, curled into the crook of Garrett's arm. “Is something wrong?” Fenris asked, taking a look over Garrett. “Sit. Watch a movie with me. Maybe open some wine” Garrett said. Fenris raised a brow. “Didn't Anders instruct you to rest?” Fenris questioned. Garett shrugged. “I'll stay right here, promise” Garrett joked. Fenris sighed in defeat. “Alright” Fenris grumbled, going to fetch them drinks. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Garrett busted out into laughter, which turned out to be a wrong move, as a cough racked him again. After he settled, able to breathe again, he continued. “He was so devastated that it was burnt. I mean, the guys an amazing cook… but he couldn't figure out why he'd burned it” Garrett said, still chuckling lightly. “Yes, well cake was definitely the one thing he couldn't bake as a kid” Fenris informed, a laugh of his own escaping. “What was he like? I know Anders now, but you knew him then” Garrett said, suddenly turning serious. Fenris thought about it for a moment, a fond smile coming to his face. “Anders has always been a tall person. As a child, he was rather clumsy. Tripping over himself, falling into things. Though he was kind hearted and back then, a little shy. I remember he had a crush on someone. He avoided the kid for a whole 8 months” Fenris said. Garrett hummed in though. 

After some silence and a few drinks later, Garrett spoke again. “Fenris is… kissing YOU better then kissing me?” Garrett slurred out slightly. Fenris was taken back by this question. “I… Garrett, may not be my place to say this, but I am under the impression we've both had a little to much alcohol” Fenris reckoned. Garrett laughed. “You avoided my question…” Garrett said, eyeing Fenris in a way that he was use to. He'd seen that look. The look of desire, of wanting. It made Fenris uncomfortable in a way, but curious in another. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but it had been sometime since he'd given into his own desire. Garrett was an attractive man after all. 

Deciding the better of it, Fenris stood to snatch the glasses from the table. However, before he could realize what was happening, Pounce was scurrying away from Garrett, as Fenris was pulled down on top of him. “Sate my curiosity. I just.. need an understanding” Garrett eyes almost pleaded as much as his voice. Fenris tried to push himself up from Garrett's chest, but was held down tightly. Fenris could feel the panic flutter through him. He wanted to run, to fight. “This will not give you that” Fenris tried to convince the man below him. “Please?” Garrett almost begged. Garrett leaned up, brushing a stray lock of hair out of Fenris' face. Fenris froze, staying completely still. The smell of wine upon Garrett's breathe filling his senses. Heart thudding in his chest, Fenris didn't react as Garrett's lips connected with his. 

Fenris felt tremors run through his body, as Garrett tried to coax him into a response. Garrett pulled back, when Fenris didn't respond. “Fenris” Garrett breathed out. Fenris managed to get himself out of Garrett's grasp finally, backing away slowly. Garrett eyes widened, as he seemed to realize what it was he'd just done. Drunk mind catching up with the actions. “Fenris, wait” Garrett said, raising hands in surrender. Fenris tried to ignore him, picking up the glasses. “I want to make a deal with you, will you please just listen?” Garrett pleaded. Fenris sighed. “Make a deal? You kissed me against my will.. and you wish to make a deal?.. I am a dangerous man, Hawke. Have you no concern for your own well being?.. and speaking of which, if I end up sick, I will be far from tolerable” Fenris warned, his words quicker then thoughts. 

Garrett drew in a deep breath, seeming to calm himself from lashing out. “I'm sorry, Fenris… I just don't understand what he's trying to do.. I feel possessive, wanting to scream mine.. and here you are, barely even around a month and already taking him from me...” Garrett said, his voice breaking slightly on the last bit. Fenris ran a trembling hand through his own hair, trying to concentrate on his own calm. “What is it you wish of me Garrett?” Fenris asked. Garrett looked away from a moment, as though the thoughts in his mind may be consuming him. “I want you to sleep with him” Garrett stated. Fenris' mouth feel open, forgetting how to breathe himself. “ What?!” Fenris asked, once his brain processed the request.


	14. You and I... and Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris comes to a conclusion that may work for all of them.

Anders sat at his desk, listening to Demi speaking quietly on his phone. Anders couldn't help the small smile upon his face, as the younger man giggled at something the other person had said. Demi apparently, would be working the night shift tonight. Currently, the other man was on his break. Anders wondered if that meant things were going good with the other man's.. date? Or were they actually dating now? Anders shrugged internally. As Demi bid his goodbyes, he then turned his attention to Anders. “Anders, I have.. a favour to ask of you…” Demi began. Anders tilted his head slightly, amusement filling his features. “Oh?” he questioned. Demi fumbled with a pen in his hands, a blush spreading across his face. “You see…I have another date on Sunday.. I was wondering if you and Garrett may-”Demi began, but was cut off by a knock on the door. “Hold that thought” Anders said, getting up.

Opening the door, revealed a very tired, very dishevelled looking Garrett. Anders eyes widened. “Garrett, what are you doing here?” Anders asked, wondering HOW Garrett had gotten here. Anders had taken their car this morning, seeing as Garrett wouldn't be needing it. “I may have said something stupid to Fenris and-” Garrett started, but wheezed out a cough. Anders took Garrett by the hand, sitting him down into the office chair. “What about Fenris?” Anders asked, discreetly turning a look to Demi. Demi gave a nod, leaving the office as silently as possible. “We were having a couple drinks… getting along great and then I did something utterly stupid” Garrett said. 

Anders ran his hand soothingly on Garrett's arm. “What type of utterly stupid Garrett?” Anders asked. Garrett turned away, looking sheepish. “So, after a while, things got silently.. I asked him what was so different between kissing me.. or kissing him… followed by actually kissing him… then I asked him if he'd fuck you and maker” Garrett stumbled over his words, as they all fell out of his mouth. Anders tried to keep up, but the kissing part caught his attention. “Back up, you kissed Fenris?” Anders demanded. “I… did. I wanted to understand.. needed to” Garrett sniffled. Anders wrapped his arms around Garrett. “I'm so sorry, love… This is my fault” Anders said, running a hand through messy locks of hair. “Fenris ran away… just left...” Garrett said quietly. 

Anders stood up. “Let's go find him.. but one more thing… “ Anders started. “I won't sleep with Fenris” Anders continued, before tossing on his coat. Garrett took a tissue off Anders desk, before hesitantly following behind. Anders couldn't be mad with Garrett, not for any of this. Anders himself had kissed Fenris recently, so he couldn't be angered with Garrett, he was just apologetic to be doing this over and over again in the last few weeks. 

After an hour of searching for Fenris, Anders was about ready to give up. He did however, have on last playing card. Pulling the car over to the side, he took out his cellphone. “What are you doing?” Garrett questioned. “Calling Aveline. I need to speak with one of her officers” Anders said. Garrett looked at him with some curiosity, but just shrugged in acceptance. As Aveline answered, Anders asked her about an officer by the name of Dominic. If there was anywhere Fenris would disappear to, the man would know. It was a long shot, since Fenris likely hadn't talked to him in years either, but Anders needed a clue. 

“Dr. Anders” the voice drawled on the other end. Dominic sounded ready for a nap, which Anders wouldn't doubt was the case. The man was just as bad for running himself completely ragged. “I'm looking for Leto, has he been around there?” Anders asked. There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Leto. He goes by Fenris now, wouldn't like you calling him that” Dominic said, amusement filling his voice. “So you have seen him” Anders said. Dominic chuckled. “He's here, if you want to come fetch him” Dominic offered. Anders considered it. “Just keep an eye on him for me? Garrett was an idiot” Anders said, with an annoyed sigh. “He told me all about it, but Doc? Word of advice? Make a choice. It's gonna be tough, but you'll make the right one” Dominic said, before the two hung up.

Back at home, Anders ran Garrett a bath, helping the man out of his clothes and into the warm tub. “So, how did you get to the clinic exactly?” Anders asked, running a wash cloth down Garrett's back. Anders swore Garrett would be purring right now, if he could, with the way he let out content sounds. “I walked” Garrett said non-nonchalantly. Anders gave Garrett a pinch to his side causing the man to squeak. “You idiot. You're ill… You should be sleeping. Not drinking wine and running off Fenris” Anders said, going back to washing Garrett up. Garrett gave a look of forlorn at this. “I was.. serious with him.. about sleeping with you… I said it before… but I want whatever this is to be dealt with…” Garrett urged. Anders kissed the back of Garrett's neck. “Thank you, but you're plenty enough for me, love.. if but a handful sometimes.. ” Anders clarified. Garrett splashed water towards him, Anders momentarily stunned, before splashing Garrett back. “If we make a mess, you're cleaning this” Anders warned. “Then get in here with me!” Garrett exclaimed, voice cracking slightly. With a laugh, Anders stuck out his tongue. “Fine”. 

It wasn't till after they'd both curled up on the couch, that Fenris came back. The man was relatively silent, avoiding either of them to the best of his abilities. Anders couldn't blame him on that. Garrett had probably made the man fairly uncomfortable, in awkward Garrett way. Though, Anders hadn't expected Fenris to sit out in the living room with him. The way he fidgeted, Anders figured there was something he wished to say. “Fenris” Anders said softly. Fenris' gaze instead turned to meet Garrett's. “I'll agree… on one condition, this happens on my terms..” Fenris said, hesitance in his voice. Anders was confused for a moment, as surprise crossed Garrett's features. “I understand… the less we dance like this, the happier I'll be” Garrett said. Fenris nodded. Anders then clued into what it was they were talking about. “Do I get a say in this?” Anders asked. “Yes, of course” Fenris quickly said. Garrett hummed in agreement. “I don't want to just… sleep with someone. I don't do one night stands” Anders said. Garrett and Fenris both lost themselves in thought for a moment.

“I've… a suggestion… if I may” Fenris declared. “By all means, it can't be any worse then what I blurted out earlier” Garrett stated. Fenris shrugged. “We've both feelings for Anders, that much is clear… and Anders himself seems conflicted by this.. I came to a conclusion of sorts I believe. You've both the right to say no and I never bring up the subject again, but what if we are both with Anders? I am not suggesting that you and I, Garrett, be together.. but” Fenris said, trying to convey what it was in his mind. Garrett and Anders both understood. “Anders, I'll leave this one entirely up to you.. I'm here, whatever you decide” Garrett soothed, rubbing Anders back. Anders nodded. “Then.. shall we give this a try?” Anders asked. “ We shall” Garrett and Fenris agreed.


End file.
